Saturday, December 26, 2009

Drinking and Driving is FUN.....

So I'm riding "home" (Read: my parents house, where I have never actually lived, and never will) with my mother after she's been at work all day. I had to meet her at work because she couldn't be bothered to come pick me up 20 minutes across town. Anyway, I meet her at her workplace and we're driving home, she informs me that she's gotta stop at the grocery store, which is fine because I imagine she's got no food (see previous post for details on that) and she needs to pick up some stuff for dinner.

I am under no illusions here though, I knew she would also be coming out with at least a 12-pack of beer. During our travels from my mom's work to the outskirts of town she told me this story about how her boss asked her as she was leaving if "It was beer time" to which my mother responded "Yep, it's beer:30." What I don't think my mother picked up on is that her boss was likely not asking permission, simply stating a fact. I don't think it's a mystery to anyone that my mom has a problem, and the denial surrounding it is astounding.

Anyway, moving on.

My mom comes out as predicted carrying a 12er of Natty Light. I am a little weirded out that my parents are now drinking the same beer that the college frat boys use for beer pong, but that doesn't disturb me nearly as much as the fact that when my mom gets in the car she opens up the pack and pulls a beer out. Mind you: we're more than 30 minutes driving from her house. My mom is about to open up a beer while she's driving...

"Excuse me?" I ask

"Yeah I'm going to drink a beer while I'm driving" she responds as if it's no big deal.

"I'd much prefer you didn't"

She actually respects my desire until about 2 minutes before we get to the house, where she cracks it open... she couldn't wait 2 extra minutes....

That's how my holiday began.

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